Copyright (c) 2010
Winters Express
312 Railroad Avenue, Winters, CA 95694
(530) 795-4551
news@wintersexpress.com
Web site by
shawnpatrickcollins
@yahoo.com

MY POLITICAL LIFE IS OVER. You always hear that anyone can grow up to president, but most of us know it is just a dream. I like to joke that I would like to be president. I would veto every spending bill, sign executive orders fixing everything that I see wrong with Washington, host a Jimmy Buffet/Alan Jackson concert, sign a livelong presidential pardon for myself, just in case the people in Washington tried to convict me of trying to fix their mistakes, and fire everyone who can’t tell me what they do to help the American people. A month should be plenty of time, don’t you think.
As I was sitting in a doctors office this week, I realized that any thoughts of becoming president were passing like the summer wind. I’ve enjoyed my life and I’m sure there are a few things in my past that would come up if I decided to run for public office, most of which I thought were funny at the time. As the nurse told me to strip to my shorts, reached for a camera and told me to face her with my palms out, I joked that my presidential aspirations were over. The session wasn’t quite over through. She had me pose with one arm raised, the other pointing behind my back, and then switch positions. Click, click, click.
I’ve seen my share of men in locker rooms, and the older we get the uglier it gets. Just taking off your shirt in public is enough to scare the children, but pictures. She said she was sending them to the dermatologist, and I hope what they say about confidentiality is written in stone. I’m not sure how pictures end up on the Internet, but some pictures should never see the light of day.
“Do you use sun screen,” she asked. I told her not often, but I do put it on my face when I take long bike rides. She rolled her eyes. I explained that I just burn and peel like the rest of the people whose relatives passed through Oklahoma. I told her I have a vitamin D deficiency and need the sun. She did something funny with her eyes again.
Enjoy the sun, and have a good week.